It’s glorious that we live in a time where our youth are able to choose their identities.
But it can also be a bit unsettling, as one mom discovered, when she learned of the new nickname her daughter was adopting.
Writing in a parenting forum for advice, the mom said that she was concerned about the ‘stalker’ name her teen had chosen.
“It’s stalkerish and just plain weird”
“My daughter (14) has a traditional first name, just a classic name along the lines of Anna or Emily. She isn’t unpopular at school, but she isn’t in the popular group either,” the mom explains.
“However, there is a very popular girl at her school who everyone knows (because she’s a cheerleader, in student government, wins the talent show every year with her singing, etc) and she has a very unusual first name, which I suspect might be a family last name somewhere in her genealogy. I’ve literally never heard this name before.
“I start noticing that my daughter is now referring to herself by this name. She changed her socials so that this unique name is now her first name. I can’t even imagine what the classmates at school must think, let alone the girl herself.
“To me it comes off stalkerish and just plain weird.”
The mom tried to explain to her daughter that others might laugh at her, or that the girl might think she’s being mocked.
“My daughter got extremely upset with me. She says she likes this name, and she ‘identifies’ with it, and I should be more supportive of ‘who she is.’
“My daughter and I have an awesome relationship and I hate that we are fighting about this. Any thoughts on what I should do, if anything?”
“It’s not going to end well”
Hundreds of comments could understand the mom’s concerns, with many agreeing, as one said, “It’s not going to end well for your daughter socially.”
One made the point that in 2023, social media is the game-changer; “I remember being jealous of kids with ‘cool’ names and pretending that was my name (looking at you, Courtney), so I don’t think this is that unusual, but now kids can put their little daydreams all over social media and get destroyed.”
Others encouraged the mom to be firmer with her daughter, with this mom writing, “Your daughter is out of line here.
Wanna have a nickname, sure. Wanna steal the popular kid’s bespoke name, hard no.”
And this self-described camp counsellor said, “I feel like there’s a talk in here about how ‘I want to support you, and I always do right? But sometimes you just need to trust me. Experience isn’t everything but it’s something, and I have experience’.”
Finally, it was this comment that made the situation perfectly clear: “Adopting the unique name of a classmate is taking the express bus to weirdo town.
“I’m not sure you can realistically shut this down 100% if your daughter insists on being addressed by this name outside of your presence, but I’d do what I can to explain why this isn’t ok and continue to encourage her to not adopt someone else’s name, fashion, habits etc in an attempt to be cool, popular, fit in, get attention.”
